Less is more. Clear the clutter and de-stress your life. Simplicity reduces anxiety.

In a world filled with consumerism and the need for more, always more, these adages reminds us to slow down and fight against the tide of more. To lead simple lives. But these adages hold a thin thread of hope against the “ideal” life of large homes, five cars for a single couple, walk-in closets the size of rooms (and who has not been guilty of wishing for one of these?), and living like the rich and famous.

Except for when it comes to kids.

You have more than the average 2.5 children? You’re a strange one. Why would you want more kids?

Buy more shoes. Buy more jewelry. Go to the salon and buy more highlights. But kids? No, better keep that to a minimum.

But I want more. I have three beautiful children that make me laugh everyday and test my patience and sometimes make me cry and always fill my day with tender moments of unconditional love. They have shown me the importance of simplicity, of slowing down and not needing to control everything but instead to sometimes just let the wonder of life overtake you in rivers of giggles and breathless awe. I would not change my life for the world or ever dare to think of life without them.

And yet….

When I think of there not being another child in this home, every fiber of my being aches. I know God has more for me. I know that there will be more laughter, more hugs. I try to imagine another child, what it will be like, and my heart surges with excitement. Not everyone is called to have children, or to have more than one or two, and some do not want more. For me it is something that has been a quiet desire stirring in my heart since the idea of motherhood first took form in imagined role play with Barbies and baby dolls.

Do I want a bushel of children that I cannot care for, cannot raise in the way they deserve? Absolutely not. But I know God will make a way for the kids He has destined for us. I am excited to one day be pregnant again, to have my fourth child. And I am beyond excited and anticipating the day we will adopt two children. Who they are I know not but I know that God will direct us to the children who need our family and need love and brothers and sister (sisters?) and play and a house full of faith and hope and dreams. If that is something I can give to my children and those two one day to be mine then I ask for more. As long as we are able and we can care properly and provide for them, I ask for more.

Shoes? Oh yes, I like shoes and probably have more than I need. Jewelry? I prefer headbands but have been known to accessorize on occasion. Do I need more? More than likely I need to give up some of what I have already.

A house of love and exploration and learning and the small patter of feet? Yes, I will take more. I will take the weird looks and the whispered comments and stares of disbelief. But I would prefer to be above average in how many children I have and have a heart and home full then avoid the “weirdness” others define for me.

That’s why more.