There it is again.

In the midst of my negative thinking He whispers positive.

That sigh I sighed when hauling groceries in? Instead, Thank You Lord that I have money to buy food.

Putting the pacifier in Haddie’s mouth for the hundredth time at three in the morning and she just won’t settle and lets out an indignant cry and I have to be up in three hours? Thank You Lord that I have a child with healthy lungs to communicate her needs to me.

Changing my mind is hard, and I can’t do it alone.

I prayed for this, asked for conviction and a renewing of my mind and spirit.

I asked for this?

Sometimes I just want to feel sorry, to give myself pity and wallow in my tiredness or self-inflicted never-endingĀ to -do list.

But that is no way to live, a life of sighing and worry, always worrying and thinking the worst.

So slowly He is changing my mind. I have done a lot of repenting for ingratitude and worry this new year. But change comes from the inside and deep in my heart where He dwells, molding my ugly sin nature into something beautiful so that gratitude and grace becomes second nature and is part of this unknown journey I am walking with Him.